I’d like to share with you a little story. A story around my journey with ‘reading/predicting it wrong’.
You know how the the story goes, you’ve experienced it. You seem to be doing great, but then you’ve pulled some cards, tuned in, done a reading or made a prediction. And you learn that you were slightly off, or worse yet, completely wrong. It’s confidence crushingly devastating.
Some of us need to pick ourselves up, and brush ourselves off find the lesson and keep going, because we’ve had a bad day, despite being on the right track. This post isn’t for you. This post is for those who don’t feel very psychic because that story seems to happen to you alot more often than you’d like it to leaving you feeling like your still a newbie with alot to learn despite how much you’ve already learned.
When I was in the early years of developing my psychic abilities, I looked at the people all around me, and they were pulling cards and tuning in and having chats with their guides and they were getting clear answers, detailed evidence, giving guidance, and making predictions and I was celebrating their hits and wins jumping up and down with excitement. They totally inspired me. They were all so amazing, so switched on, so tuned in. I was such a newbie, a wannabe. I was soaking it all in and trying really hard to be JUST LIKE THEM.
And they’d sit down with me and look at me:
“You’ve got such psychic hands” the palmist would say.
“You’ve got seer’s eyes” an energy reader would say.
“You are going to help alot of people with your psychic abilities” the healers would say.
And yet, despite being ‘told’ these things, wearing my crystals, meditating, pulling out my Toni Carmine Salerno and Doreen Virtue cards and tuning in, I used to laugh and cry, because I felt like such a dud because although I got it right at times, I got it wrong alot too.
And so I tried harder, I did lots of tapping and healing, and tuning in. I sat with my guides and practiced and practiced and practiced by asking them lots of questions. I took every psychic development course offered in English in the city I lived in (Hong Kong). I was determined to be the psychic they saw in me.
And I still kept getting it wrong, and peeling my confidence off the floor and trying again, and again. Around 6 years ago when I fell pregnant I sat, meditated, then tuned in, and I asked the question “When is my baby going to be born?” December 5th came the answer, so loud and clear in my head I was telling everyone that was my due date. I believed it was true, I had faith, and the strong knowing. December 5th came and went. As did the next day predicted and the next. He didn’t even come on my actual due date. He was unpredictably late.
Can you see from my story where I was going wrong?
Let me break it down for you, because there were two big things I was doing:
#1) I was trying hard to be like my friends, like the other psychics I met (and I met alot). I was trying to learn through THEIR examples, follow THEIR methods. No one was guiding me to find my own way. No one was pointing me where to look within myself, or even how to look. No one was teaching me what I did best, and if they were, I was too focused on what they were doing to listen.
#2) I was focused on what I wanted to know, I was trying to predict the future, not because I NEEDED to know, but because I WANTED to know, because predicting the future was fun, cool and exciting, and what others want to hear right? Because it was what my idol psychics appeared to be doing, and they had alot of Gold Star predictions with me. I had the psychic gift apparently, so why couldn’t I? Because I was trying to extract the information from Spirit rather than trust Spirit was going to tell me what I needed to know, when I needed to know it.
It took me a long time to realize those two things. It didn’t come to me from some psychic or intuitive. It wasn’t spelled out to me in simple English. One day, the realization came from within me, and it came at a time when I grew tired of constantly getting it wrong. I developed a ‘why bother’ attitude, and was on the verge of flushing my psychic dreams down the toilet. I probably would have if my curiosity hadn’t kicked in causing me to start questioning “Who am I really?” and “What are my gifts?” “Am I really a psychic?” I didn’t find the answers to that overnight. It didn’t come to me from a psychic reading either. Part of the reason for that was because I didn’t know anyone who did those kinds of readings (Times have changed!). The answers to that came via a deeper exploration into me, what I’m actually good at, and where my gifts actually lie because by this point, I saw that my guides were constantly feeding me wrong answers so that I’d give up trying to follow a dead end path I was never meant to be walking, and find the path that I was. I needed to experience that to truly get that, rather than be told.
I started to focus on 2 things.
#1) What I am actually pretty good at? This led me to having the realization that the thing I’ve always been good at (Voice channeling) I brushed aside because no one else really was doing it, plus I judged it as weird. In fact, other than Esther Hicks, I’d only come across one other person who did it. I’d believed and thought I was meant to be a typical psychic, you know, the kind that reads cards and makes cool future predictions, because that was my pre-conception/understanding of what Psychics Do. Because the word “Psychic” had been overgeneralized with me. The more I started exploring the Voice Channeling, bringing through higher guidance, and the healing path, rather than clauraudiantly predicting, the more I discovered who I am, how I work best and realized I’ve been looking outside and around me for inspiration, instead of finding the truth within.
#2) What am I drawn to? What excites and interests me? I don’t know how many times I’ve followed that, going down a rabbit hole path that made absolutely no common sense at all. Following my interests has never been my purpose, but through following my various interests as I’ve had them I’ve discovered more about my Purpose and myself. I’ve signed up for plenty of things I was guided to do, when my mind was going ‘Why?’ and my bank balance was saying ‘It’s too expensive’’ only to receive something far more valuable than the time and money spent.
The more I started learning about what I’M good at, despite how different it felt from everyone else (by the way, we are ALL unique, not just me), and putting more energy into MY gifts and discovering and focusing on developing them specifically, the more I got things right because I was focusing on the kind of information I’m great at bringing through in the way I’m great at bringing it through rather than the information I thought people wanted to hear, the stuff I thought was cool. The more I did this the people I was able to help started increasing, and the bigger the impact I was having because the work flowed so much better, and got easier the more I did it. My confidence grew a lot with the knowing that I’m on the right tract.
I’m still on this journey. I’m gently bit by bit letting go of everything i’ve learned from everyone along the way, and I’m letting my own gifts, my own intuition, my own ways of working come through and shine without judging or comparing them. We aren’t meant to all be same same, and we don’t need to be same same to be accepted. We are entering an era where those of us who choose to be completely and uniquely our authentic selves are going to be the ones who shine. And we all have the best teachers to show us the way – Spirit, our guides, our higher selves, and us, the person that we are, if we let them. <3